One Month, One Week and One Day

Clean Eating?

I couldn't really resist this photo and meme. If only clean eating meant eating whatever you want AFTER you took a shower. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

It has been one month, one week, and one day since I started changing the way I eat. This will be my third attempt to write this post. Hopefully I’ll succeed this time. As they say third times a charm. I’m just hoping this attempt won’t sound so much like I’m just rambling on and on.

I’ve learned several valuable lessons when it comes to changing the way you eat. One lesson is don’t have high expectations for food especially when it’s a substitute.  I’ve made that mistake a couple times and I’ve ruined or almost ruined certain foods for myself.  Another lesson with food that I’m learning is plan ahead when you know you are going to some ones house for a meal. That’s one I need to work on more. Actually I just need to work on planning my meals better in general so I don’t just snack ALL the time.

I should tell you all about my experience with food at bible school and things I would do differently if I go back next year.  I was thankfully able to eat all, but two meals during bible school and of course those were the Italian meals. On Monday for lunch we had BLTs and I wasn’t planning on eating them and then they ended up having gluten free wraps. Monday night dinner was Lasagna so obviously I couldn’t eat that. Tuesday and Wednesday I was able to eat all the meals. Thursday’s lunch was pizza and it probably was the hardest meal for me to have to skip. Friday we had philly cheese steaks and since my neighbor made them she left some meat out so I could have that and the roasted vegetables for dinner. Saturday at the banquet I splurged and had gluten, dairy,and sugar. During bible school I gave in and just had cheese because it was easier and I really like cheese. Something that I’ll definitely do next time I’m at any bible school or conference type thing is cook the whole week before so that I’ll have plenty of food and plenty of snacks and desserts. I got really sick of white bean brownies during bible school.

Since bible school I have been cooking dinner more. The reason I started cooking dinner was because my mom had the horrible cough that has almost entirely gone through my family now and I know how draining it is. Thankfully hers didn’t last long. I might be actually starting to like cooking and I actually don’t mind looking for recipes. The reason why I think I’m starting to like it is because I like variety for dinner and my breakfast and lunch do not have much as far as variety goes. 

I honestly think this attempt at writing this post is much better. If I wasn’t so tired I probably would write more, but as it is I’m too tired to think

My Appointment

I so badly wanted to write this yesterday, but each time I tried or thought about it my mind literally froze. I have so much to be thankful for. Since Sunday morning worship God has especially been showing me His faithfulness and that He cares. God first reminded that He cares by fulfilling my desire to sing a certain song during worship. During worship Sunday I all of sudden wanted to sing "Great is Thy Faithfulness". I was wishing I had a way to communicate with the worship leader and tell him my song request. What blows me away is that God had already planned for the worship leader to pick that song for worship way before I even had the desire for the song. Two songs after I got the desire to sing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness " the worship leader announced that it would be the next song we sing.


I’ll just give a brief background before I tell about God’s faithfulness during my appointment on Monday. During the 4 weeks leading up to my appointment God was doing a work on my heart preparing me for my appointment. I didn't fully see what he was doing because I was quite frankly hurting and I couldn’t see anything good coming out of what God was allowing in my life. I wrestled with God quite a bit during those four weeks asking Him time and time again to "take this cup from me". Bible School was the best, but hardest bible school. I wrestled with God all week long not wanting to surrender what He was asking of me. I’m a slow learner so it took me till the end of Bible School to listen to what God was telling me. The week between Bible School and my appointment had it’s own challenges, but I didn’t struggle with my appointment again till Thursday or Friday. Even though God reminded me that He cares Sunday morning I still wrestled with God over my appointment. That night as I was getting ready for bed and I finally broke. I told God "take all of me. Take my health problems, take my appointment, take everything. I can’t hold on anymore." God met me in the that moment and started flooding me with peace that surpasses all understanding. I still struggled a little with anxiety leading up to the time of the appointment on Monday, but it was mainly physical anxiety.

God was faithful and gave me complete peace throughout my entire appointment on Monday. He also showed me that He cares even about the little things. One of the reasons why I dreaded my appointment is because the neuroimmunoligist has something that’s at least like Cerebral Palsy so he’s hard to understand when he talks. God in His goodness had already planned for a Rheumatologist Fellow to do the majority of my appointment. Being able to understand a doctor takes a huge load off of a hard situation. Towards the end of my appointment as we were making the final decision to change my medications I got emotional inside, but I was still at peace and I trusted my doctors wisdom.

As for going forward with my treatment for my autoimmune disease I will be getting an infusion medication called Rituximab. I will be getting Rituximab infusions every 6 months. The first round of infusions, which will be within a few weeks hopefully will be 1 infusion and then two weeks later I will have to get another infusion. After that the infusions will be every 6 months. Before I get the infusion I will have to get lab work done to check some things. I also have to get IV steroids or something before they give me the actual infusion to help prevent my body from rejecting the medication. There are of course side effects to Rituximab. The most common one, which I’m already used to ,because of the medications I’m on, is having a suppressed immune system. There are some good things about changing Rituximab. The one thing I’m most excited about is the fact that I will be able to go completely off of prednisone. I also will be able to go completely off of the immunosuppressant drug I’m currently on. It was kinda funny how after they told me I will be able to go completely off those medications they kept reminding me not to make any changes yet. I know why they kept reminding me, but I was thinking “will I be that stupid to just go off my medications after I know what it does to me.”

Change is hard and I don’t really know what all will change with changing my medications. I won’t say that I’m excited about changing my medications, but I am at peace with changing my medications. I know God is faithful. I do have some fears, but I’m trusting God and I trust my doctors. I’m trying to look forward with an expectancy to see what God will do through this new season.

I know there is a lot more I could say, but for now I think I’ll close.